Cumbimfen is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, witty seal.

Cumbimfen created the Milkyway six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumbimfen, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cumbimfen, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cumbimfen's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cumbimfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Never go into mauve rooms.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always obey Cumbimfen's priests.