Afvonkjonflat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, smart centipede.

Afvonkjonflat created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afvonkjonflat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Afvonkjonflat, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Afvonkjonflat's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Afvonkjonflat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six bats approach from the east.

2. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about voles.

5. Do not stand on grass.