Cadloopvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, proud horse.

Cadloopvonk created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadloopvonk, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Cadloopvonk, she will turn you into a rat.

Cadloopvonk's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Cadloopvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple birds for they are unholy.

2. Do not eat aubergines.

3. Do not speak about cherries.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never go into indigo rooms.