Tarpvadjad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, staggering hydra.

Tarpvadjad created the Tadpole Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpvadjad, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tarpvadjad, he will destroy your favourite star.

Tarpvadjad's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tarpvadjad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Put Tarpvadjad first in all things.

3. Do not wear red clothing.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always treat moths with great respect.