Yattzogsterbifceptigpas is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, competent mink.

Yattzogsterbifceptigpas created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yattzogsterbifceptigpas, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yattzogsterbifceptigpas, he will turn you into a goat.

Yattzogsterbifceptigpas' most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Yattzogsterbifceptigpas' Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yattzogsterbifceptigpas.

4. Run away from magenta rats, for they are unholy.

5. Always take life seriously.