Ontrawfut is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, omnipotent troll.

Ontrawfut created the Whirlpool Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontrawfut, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Ontrawfut, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Ontrawfut's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Ontrawfut's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Ontrawfut.

3. Never skip in the presence of porpoises.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.