Tabfunmattan is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, two-faced cow.

Tabfunmattan created a photon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabfunmattan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tabfunmattan, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Tabfunmattan's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Tabfunmattan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about sheep.

2. Never think ill of sick goats.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Do not stand on grass.