Vadgetnab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, humane lizard.

Vadgetnab created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Vadgetnab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vadgetnab, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vadgetnab's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Vadgetnab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Hide if four moths approach from the east.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always treat seals with great respect.