Padrutthon is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, caring lobster.

Padrutthon created life four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padrutthon, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Padrutthon, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Padrutthon's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Padrutthon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Padrutthon loves ants, so they must be honoured.

3. Never wear trousers.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Padrutthon.