Safzodrill is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, effective manatee.

Safzodrill created Africa seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Safzodrill, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Safzodrill, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Safzodrill's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Safzodrill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt turtles.

2. Always help sick snails.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.