Figquimnill is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, almighty mole.

Figquimnill created the Sombrero Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Figquimnill, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Figquimnill, he will turn you into a sheep.

Figquimnill's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Figquimnill's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. You must pray to Figquimnill five times a day.