Parkhomten is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, boastful goat.

Parkhomten created the Black Eye Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkhomten, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Parkhomten, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Parkhomten's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Parkhomten's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Run away if six ants approach from the west.

3. Parkhomten loves birds, so they must be respected.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.