Gigarpcum is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, tiresome finch.

Gigarpcum created the Whirlpool Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigarpcum, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gigarpcum, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gigarpcum's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Gigarpcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always treat great tits with great respect.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never feed bread to bats while wearing magenta shoes.