Fumbitken is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, all-powerful aardvark.

Fumbitken created dark matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumbitken, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fumbitken, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fumbitken's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Fumbitken's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Fumbitken.

2. Cats are not to be trusted.

3. Never wear pink kilts.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Never hurt geese.