Fonjoplop is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, thoughtless tortoise.

Fonjoplop created the Sol system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonjoplop, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fonjoplop, it will curse you with boils.

Fonjoplop's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Fonjoplop's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Feed all hungry squirrels.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never hurt voles.

5. Never eat gooseberries.