Ontjabhad is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, awesome dragonfly.

Ontjabhad created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontjabhad, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ontjabhad, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Ontjabhad's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Ontjabhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never hurt porpoises.

5. Never wear scarves.