Yarlmapnabyamquamtin is a god.

It takes the form of a large, sage swallow.

Yarlmapnabyamquamtin created dark matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlmapnabyamquamtin, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarlmapnabyamquamtin, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Yarlmapnabyamquamtin's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Yarlmapnabyamquamtin's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarlmapnabyamquamtin.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. You must love Yarlmapnabyamquamtin.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.