Nelbonkarn is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, intelligent octopus.

Nelbonkarn created everything that exists three million years ago.

If you believe in Nelbonkarn, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nelbonkarn, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Nelbonkarn's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Nelbonkarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick badgers.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never play with disobedient children.