Bentarged is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, ruthless rat.

Bentarged created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bentarged, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bentarged, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Bentarged's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bentarged's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bentarged.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never go into magenta rooms.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not hurt goats.