Yartnutham Jamhakyok is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, egotistical guinea pig.

Yartnutham Jamhakyok created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartnutham Jamhakyok, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yartnutham Jamhakyok, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Yartnutham Jamhakyok's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Yartnutham Jamhakyok's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

3. Never jump near rats.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never wear corsets.