Fidvol is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, tranquil dragon.

Fidvol created the cosmos two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidvol, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Fidvol, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Fidvol's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Fidvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat nuts.

2. Put Fidvol first in all things.

3. You must never eat cucumbers.

4. Do not take Fidvol's name in vain.

5. Fast once a month.