Tarparkfasrak is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, ruthless capybara.

Tarparkfasrak created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarparkfasrak, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tarparkfasrak, she will destroy your favourite star.

Tarparkfasrak's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tarparkfasrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of mites.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always treat seals with great respect.

5. Erect eight tin sculptures of Tarparkfasrak on top of important buildings.