Fosscatsat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest armadillo.

Fosscatsat created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fosscatsat, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fosscatsat, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fosscatsat's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Fosscatsat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. You must pray to Fosscatsat four times a day.

3. Do not hurt monkeys.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.