Tabzenman is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, deceitful centipede.

Tabzenman created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabzenman, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tabzenman, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tabzenman's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Tabzenman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never mention great tits.

4. Never eat cucumbers.

5. Tabzenman loves dogs, so they must be honoured.