Paksuggof is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish hippopotamus.

Paksuggof created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Paksuggof, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Paksuggof, she will come to you in dreams.

Paksuggof's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Paksuggof's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise doves, for they are unholy.

2. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.