Pangquarthab is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, all-knowing porpoise.

Pangquarthab created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangquarthab, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pangquarthab, he will destroy your home solar system.

Pangquarthab's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Pangquarthab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not eat tomatoes.

5. Do not take Pangquarthab's name in vain.