Funhapdoss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unthinking hummingbird.

Funhapdoss created humanity six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funhapdoss, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Funhapdoss, she will turn you into a rock.

Funhapdoss' most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Funhapdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never feed garlic to ants while wearing fawn kilts.

5. Never run in holy places.