Bat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, all-powerful mole.

Bat created the planet Venus six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bat, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bat's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Bat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Put Bat first in all things.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never sing in the presence of dogs.

5. Do not eat strawberries.