Spagpandon is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, staggering bat.

Spagpandon created an electron three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagpandon, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Spagpandon, he will turn you into a rat.

Spagpandon's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Spagpandon's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head magenta.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always look after injured cats.