Vogquafzan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish troll.

Vogquafzan created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogquafzan, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vogquafzan, she will turn you into a sheep.

Vogquafzan's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Vogquafzan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Worship no other gods but Vogquafzan.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Run away if eight mites approach from the south.