Cemruttflow Honvoghon is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, conceited camel.

Cemruttflow Honvoghon created bats three million years ago.

If you believe in Cemruttflow Honvoghon, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cemruttflow Honvoghon, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cemruttflow Honvoghon's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Cemruttflow Honvoghon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about badgers.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. Cemruttflow Honvoghon must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.