Satquagpod is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, effective cobra.

Satquagpod created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satquagpod, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Satquagpod, he will turn you into a rat.

Satquagpod's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Satquagpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white hats.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Run away if eight hamsters approach from the west.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.