Bednartwabrawhanhan is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, quiet monkey.

Bednartwabrawhanhan created the Sombrero Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bednartwabrawhanhan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bednartwabrawhanhan, it will turn you into a snail.

Bednartwabrawhanhan's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Bednartwabrawhanhan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Always help cats.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.