Gumnurl Jinbonrag Monstanvag is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, two-faced raven.

Gumnurl Jinbonrag Monstanvag created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumnurl Jinbonrag Monstanvag, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gumnurl Jinbonrag Monstanvag, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gumnurl Jinbonrag Monstanvag's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gumnurl Jinbonrag Monstanvag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured pigs.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always stare at clouds.