Garfebnarl is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, merciless guinea pig.

Garfebnarl created a down quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Garfebnarl, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Garfebnarl, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Garfebnarl's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Garfebnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never mention voles.

3. Put Garfebnarl first in all things.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Fast once a month.