Hanwanstip is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, proud pig.

Hanwanstip created the Virgo Supercluster five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hanwanstip, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hanwanstip, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hanwanstip's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Hanwanstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never wear dresses.

4. Ducks are not to be trusted.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.