Yakmitdan is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, fussy hydra.

Yakmitdan created the Milkyway eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakmitdan, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yakmitdan, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Yakmitdan's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Yakmitdan's Holy Commandments

1. Yakmitdan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not eat melons.

3. Never feed limes to birds while wearing fawn kilts.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never wear jumpers.