Gofwap is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, annoying hummingbird.

Gofwap created dark matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gofwap, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Gofwap, it will not invite you to parties.

Gofwap's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gofwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about voles.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.