Ponsitdun Hombetdappas is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, confident snake.

Ponsitdun Hombetdappas created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponsitdun Hombetdappas, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ponsitdun Hombetdappas, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Ponsitdun Hombetdappas' most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Ponsitdun Hombetdappas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snails.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Run away from mauve grasshopers, for they are unholy.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Run away if three whales approach from the north.