Diddumdusscim is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unselfish swallow.

Diddumdusscim created the cosmos eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Diddumdusscim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Diddumdusscim, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Diddumdusscim's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Diddumdusscim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not eat peas.

4. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

5. Never paint your back blue.