Panarp Hamyarlnurlhanstig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, ill-tempered gorilla.

Panarp Hamyarlnurlhanstig created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Panarp Hamyarlnurlhanstig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Panarp Hamyarlnurlhanstig, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Panarp Hamyarlnurlhanstig's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Panarp Hamyarlnurlhanstig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick ducks.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always treat mice with great respect.

4. Do not speak about limes.

5. Never laugh near tapirs.