Gutwabtenmabkonzenpad is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, almighty dog.

Gutwabtenmabkonzenpad created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutwabtenmabkonzenpad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gutwabtenmabkonzenpad, she will refuse to believe in you.

Gutwabtenmabkonzenpad's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Gutwabtenmabkonzenpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt cats.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Run away if three whales approach from the east.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.