Gantimfag is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, irritating crab.

Gantimfag created a photon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gantimfag, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gantimfag, she will curse you with boils.

Gantimfag's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Gantimfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gantimfag's name in vain.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gantimfag.

3. Worship no other gods but Gantimfag.

4. Always help sick horses.

5. Do not sing in public.