Kindapnartruttjen Sandteenmap is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless jellyfish.

Kindapnartruttjen Sandteenmap created the planet Mars two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kindapnartruttjen Sandteenmap, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Kindapnartruttjen Sandteenmap, it will come to you in dreams.

Kindapnartruttjen Sandteenmap's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Kindapnartruttjen Sandteenmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not take Kindapnartruttjen Sandteenmap's name in vain.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Run away from magenta snakes, for they are unholy.