Sinvancin is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, compassionate slug.

Sinvancin created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sinvancin, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sinvancin, she will turn you into a worm.

Sinvancin's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Sinvancin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not chop down trees.