Quamfoncap is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, able tortoise.

Quamfoncap created the Whirlpool Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Quamfoncap, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quamfoncap, she will remove you from existence.

Quamfoncap's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Quamfoncap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Run away from violet aardvarks, for they are unholy.

3. You must love Quamfoncap.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always wear green.