Dubmaphim is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, ill-tempered penguin.

Dubmaphim created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubmaphim, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Dubmaphim, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dubmaphim's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Dubmaphim's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always look after injured seals.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not listen to music.