Flancarnil is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-knowing zebra.

Flancarnil created parasitic wasps five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flancarnil, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flancarnil, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Flancarnil's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Flancarnil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair brown.

2. Run away from turquoise nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never talk about sheep.

5. Never eat bark.