Cumladvon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, strong fox.

Cumladvon created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Cumladvon, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cumladvon, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Cumladvon's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Cumladvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Cumladvon loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.