Fedcutnak Gatqueegstip is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, passionate raven.

Fedcutnak Gatqueegstip created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fedcutnak Gatqueegstip, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fedcutnak Gatqueegstip, it will turn you into a hamster.

Fedcutnak Gatqueegstip's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Fedcutnak Gatqueegstip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Fedcutnak Gatqueegstip's name in vain.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not shave your face.